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The Ultimate Safe Toy in the Panic Society



    The 20th Century had a great deal of problems with toys that
were just plain DANGEROUS. Much of the problems were the result
of parents trying to do the job best left to Your Glorious
Leaders.

    Classic examples were.

1. The Mattel Vacuum Form Machine.

    This was a machine that allowed the child to vacuum form
plastic into a toy shape. However, in order to vacuum form
plastic, it has to be heated over a small oven to 300`.An
unsupervised kid could still stick its hand into the oven and
burn it badly. Your Glorious Leaders got this dangerous toy
pulled from the market.

2. The Lawn Dart Game

    This game played a lot like horseshoes and was designed to
be played outdoors. It feature heavy rugged darts designed to
handle the abuse of being used outdoors. Unsupervised kids,
however, soon found out that they could use the darts in war
games and threw them at each other. The Lawn Dart Game was soon
forced off the market by Your Glorious Leaders after several
children were killed after being hit in the head by the heavy,
sharp Lawn Darts.

3. War toys.

    Your Glorious Leaders continued to insist that war toys
foster violent behavior in children. Toy guns also begin to look
like the real thing. This gave local law authorities a big
headache and led to many accidental shootings. The ultimate panic
occurred with the massacre in Stockton, California of school
children by a deranged 24 yr old who, as a child, was fascinated
with toy soldiers.

    May, 1991. The U.S Custom service banned the import of toy
M-16 rifles because they look so much like the real thing.

    While never actually invented, a cartoon showed a kid
slumped in a corner of the room holding on to his bleeding
stomach, while his robot G.I. Joe continues advancing in the room
carrying a blood stained bayonet.

    1988 resulted in a rash of panic by Your Glorious Leaders
over toy safety. A toy fishing rod was pulled from the shelves
because the toy was designed to be actually used for fishing. (It
had real fish hooks.). A Baby Puffalump toy was found to be
dangerous because it was flammable. (Saginaw News C1 December 14,
1988)

    Kids could be injured by sharp objects from toys. They could
swallow and choke on small objects that came off of, or were
broken off of toys. They could be struck by heavy toys. One kid
jammed a toy in his ear causing serious ear injury. No matter
what the toy, a kid could find some way to be injured or killed
by it.

4. Playground,

    Kids were constantly getting killed and injured on
playground equipment. Kids fell from monkey bars. Kids got hurt
on swings, Kids got hurt on slides, tetter totters, mary go
rounds, teeter balls, etc. Your Glorious Leaders made sure that
all of those dangerous toys were removed from those playgrounds.

    Kids stepped on glass, kids got in fights, Kids got
kidnapped and molested, Kids were shot at by crazy people, (See
Guns). You could be attacked by mountain lions in California
parks. (Your Glorious Leaders made sure that Kids were banned
from them,) Playgrounds were just plain dangerous places for kids
to be in.

    *Every year, one of four American children sees a doctor
because of an injury, many caused while using playground
equipment.

    Fails account for 70 percent of playground equipment
injuries. Merry-go-rounds, wildly swinging tires and other
equipment can cause dizziness or disorientation which increase
the chances of injury.

    An old favorite, the swing, is the most common culprit in
injuries. In addition to falls, a swing with a heavy seat can
deliver a dangerous blow to an unsuspecting child. *Saginaw News
OCR Scan.

5. Trees,

    Kids were constantly playing in trees. They loved to climb
up them. However, kids were constantly falling out of trees when
they either slipped, or the branch broke. There were many
crippling injuries and deaths when kids fell from trees.

6. Water'

    Kids loved to play in water. They were attracted to puddles,
ditches, ponds, rivers, pools, etc. However, kids often fell into
the water. Many of those kids would drown in those places. One
kid was caught in the sewer when she was sucked into a drain
after falling into a storm flooded ditch. Kids were even known to
drown in buckets of water while the parents were using them. And,
of course, kids were always drowning in bathtubs pails and
toilets. One kid got up late at night from a camper on the Rifle
River to play in the creek. His body was found two miles
downstream. Your Glorious Leaders made sure that the father went
to prison for child neglect. (True Story.)

    Ice was an even greater danger. Kids were always playing on
thin ice. Naturally, they would fall through the ice. Usually,
they got their feet wet. However, many of them drowned or froze
to death.

    And kids love using squirt guns. In 1992, the super soaker
was invented and became an instant hit. Until!

OCR Scan; Super Soaker

    Dorothy M. Cole smelled trouble when her 7-year-old son,
Ryan, returned from biking Monday through their Saginaw
neighborhood.

    "I smelled the back of his clothes, and I said, 'What
happened?'" the 26-year-old mother recalled.

    He said, "They squirted me, Mom.", Police today planned to
interview a l5-year-old Saginaw youth suspected of spraying
bleach on the youngster with a Super Soaker squirt gun.

    Cole said the back of her son's neck was red even after he
showered.

    "I just couldn't believe it," she said. "Bleach in a squirt
gun. That's gone too far." The attack, which occurred about 2
p.m. in the 2700 block of Lynnwood, was the most serious of about
seven such incidents police have investigated this summer, said
Sgt. Larry J. Wagner.

    "Those numbers are insignificant based on the number of
these guns out there, but when you have incidents like this, it
worries me a little bit," he said.

    "Kids are squirting these chemicals at other children, and I
don't think they understand the implications of the chemical
hitting somebody else's skin. It's considered a - serious
assault." The guns are popular because they can store large
amounts of liquid and have a long range.

    "It's pretty serious," Wagner said. "you can think of all
kinds of things you can put in that weapon to cause problems."
Dorothy Cole said she is grateful the bleach did not hit her son
in the eyes.

    "I thought if they're putting bleach in them now, what next
are they going to put in these things?" she said.

    "I was mad. These are 14- l5year-old boys who should know
better."*

    Note, Nerf has retaliated with their new line of toys called
"Water Cannons"

7. Backyards.

    Backyards were places of horrors and death traps. Kids got
into all kinds of danger there. They could get killed or injured
by any equipment that was in those back yards. They were even
attacked by animals in those back yards. A little girl was
trapped for several days in Texas when she fell into a well that
was in a back yard. There could be poisonous plants and animals
in those yards too. Lymes disease was also present in insects
that were in many of the back yards.

    North Brunswick, New Jersey. April, 93. First grader Kwame
Sharif was playing with his twin brother, Kwazi, outside the
North Brunswick manor Apartment on Saturday when he was swallowed
up by the back yard. It took rescue workers several hours to
recover his body which ended up eight feet below the surface. An
autopsy showed that he had suffocated withend minutes. Other
children in the area are now afraid that they too will also be
swallowed up by the backyard.

    In the summer of 1989, The Hardees corporation launched a
promotional toy in coordination with the Ghostbuster II movie.
They marketed a highly successful little noisemaker called the
"Ghostblaster". This little device made weird sounds when the kid
pushed one of several buttons. It was a great sales success. Over
2 million were sold.

    Until;

    A few kids (trolls) got tired of playing with the toy and
begin to take them apart to see how they worked. They left the
pieces laying around. One of the parts was a battery that was the
size of a piece of candy. Along comes the younger brother or
sister, (The Crumb Snatcher), with one spoiled thought in its
mind, CANDY. The battery ends up in the kids mouth. There were 20
such cases of this happening.

    Your Glorious Leaders screamed loud and long about this
"Dangerous Toy". We even went into the restaurants and raised
hell about this so called "Dangerous Toy". Finally, on July, 17,
1989, Hardees came to their senses and offer a refund for this
dangerous toy.

    The Christmas season of 1989 continued to be looked upon
with horror by Your Glorious Leaders. The Buddy L Soda Delivery
Truck came packaged with a stick that was used to hold this truck
in the package. An unsupervised Rug Rat took this stick and stuck
it in his ear. He ended up with severe ear damage.

    The Bouncing Babies Cuddly Baby Doll is listed as a
horrendously dangerous toy because it has a pacifier that a kid
could poke into its eye. The Mc Donalds playland is considered
hazardous because, "Kids will try to eat the imitation food"

    Cap guns are considered dangerous because, "They make loud
noises and can cause hearing damage."

    The Mickey Mouse Pillow Toy was found to be flammable. The
Water Balloon Sling Shot toy was found to cause head injury and
temporary heart failure when kids shot each other with the sling
shot. And numerous other examples including a rash of Fisher
Price crib toys that ended up choking the kids to death.

    A sonic whistle toy was recalled when Your Glorious Leaders
determined that the toy, when broken, had small parts that kids
could swallow and choke on.

    There was panic over a toy called "Spy Tech". this toy was
developed by Tyco Industries as a line of safe nonviolent toys.
However, Your Glorious Leaders argued that the toys "encouraged
illegal evesdropping by children".

    An origination called the United States Consumers Product
Safety Commission was formed. Its purpose was to check all
products for any possible hazards that they could create. This
origination contained people that were very panicky as well as
normal rational type people. The Your Glorious Leaders soon
gained control. Your Glorious Leaders begin to get products
banned or made illegal even if the injuries or deaths were the
result of abuse of products as opposed to an actual hazards.

    Over 325 million products have been banned as of 1992.

    On December 21, 1989, Your Glorious Leaders panicked over a
toy that had been deemed "safe" and had met all toy safety
standards. The "Velveteen Rabbit" was considered "dangerous" due
to a plastic packing bag that was in use.

    In 1989 alone, over 148,000 kids were treated at hospitals
as a result of toy related injuries. 351,000 were injured by
bicycles, 47,000 by skateboards, 21,000 by sleds, and 47,000 on
roller skates.

    The 1990 Christmas season saw its usual panic over toys.
Babys First Birthday Balloon, Mickeytown Ice cream Set, Snoopy
Plush Toy in Tuxedo, Spring N' Bounce Car, Jeep Jr 4x4, Scoot
Along Miss, Wooden cars from france, Nashco train, Airplane and
Farm Puzzles, Siamese Stuffed Cat, 4x4 Jeep, Mini Mite Car
transport, Toy Cowboy Hat, Friction powered Mini Blender, Little
Angel Doll,Twirl'a'Way plane, Baby Exerciser, Sesame Street crib
& Play Set Toys with Peek a Boo Mirror, and Baby trainer Crib
Gym.

    "Those toys and many more could pose a choking hazard, or
strangle your kid" states the U.S. Consumer Product Safety
Commission. "in most cases, the toys have small detachable parts
that the kids could choke on.

    The Disney's Steve the Tramp doll which is based on the
movie Dick Tracy, has been pulled off the market. It wasn't
because the toy was found to be unsafe. It was because Your
Glorious Leaders complained about the toy character of being a
tramp would make kids insensitive to the problem of the homeless
person. Therefore, the toy was recalled out of respect to the
homeless.

    "TOYS BLASTED!!!" This was the headlines in the Saginaw
News. "Advocates claims bear, Robin Hood hazardous."

    The top 10 most hazardous toys are,

1. X-Men, The plastic fist with claw could cause face and eye
injury

2. Dick Tracy - Breathless Mahony Doll. This toy has been forced
off of the market because its removable arms could be a choking
hazard.

3. Robotman's Stellar. it uses "Dangerous" batteries. Also forced
off of the market.

4. He-Man's electronic Skeletor Skull Staff. Spear like point and
heavy skull could cause injury.

5. Robin Hood Prince of thieves Sword and Dagger. isn't this
ovious?

6. Rabbit Animal friends Gumball Machine. The kids might choke on
the gumballs!!!!

7. GIJoe Arctic Assault Carrier. Caps make noise that might
injure the kids hearing, It also shoots projectiles that might
hit a kids eyes.

8. Silver Bullet Sling Shot. The kid might shoot stones or
marbles with it.

9. Slugger Bear. The kid might choke on the 8" baseball bat.

10. My First Sony Walkman. The kid might play it too loud.

    The toy companies retaliated.

    "February, 1992, Kenners announce a new line of toys called
"Savage Mondo Blitzers"

    This line of wheeled toys include such toys as "Butt Kicker,
Puke Shooter, Butt kicker, Projectile Vomit, Chuck (turd) blower,
Snot Shot, eye pus, and other disgusting names.

    Your Glorious Leaders went ballistic over the idea of kids
playing with such toys.

Dangerous toys for 92 OCR Scan

BOSTON (AP)

    The Super Soaker 100 a high-powered water gun, and soft
plastic Creative Blocks made a product-liability lawyer's annual
list today of the nation's 10 most dangerous toys.

    The water gun, made by Larami Corp., could cause eye or face
injuries, Edward M. Swartz said at a news conference. The guns
were in the news earlier this year because some youngsters loaded
them with irritating chemicals.

    Fischer Price Inc. had two products on the list: Creative
Blocks and the Puffalump Snuggle Light, a night light for cribs.

    Swartz said that wooden dowels that come with the blocks are
a choking hazard and that the night light can burn an infant if
its batteries leak Swartz has released the list for two decades.

    Also on the list, Moon Shoes, plastic shoes snapped to a
child's feet to create a trampoline effect. Marketed by the
Nickelodeon TV network, the product could cause head injuries and
bone fractures, Schwartz said.

    The Terminator 2 Power Arm by Kenner. It has a removable
left arm that can be replaced by a spike, claw or missile
launcher.

    The Captain Hook Tri-Hook, a hard plastic cuff with a
plastic hook, dagger and saw attached. It is made by Mattel.

    The Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer doll made by Applause
Inc. Swartz said a child could choke on a bell tied to the doll's
neck.

    A surfboard-riding troll doll with spiked neon hair. Swartz
said the pointy edges could cause puncture wounds and eye
injuries. The doll is made by Russ Berrie and Co.

    The Smart Kids I Can Drive Car, a plastic car for toddlers
with a removable steering column Swartz said could cause injury .
It's made by DreamWorks Inc.

    The Busy Boy Tool Chest by Ohio Art. It's a metal tool box
with four soft plastic toys and one wood handled saw that Swartz
said could cause cuts or bruises. *

    Note Mattell told a safety group that most any toy could
cause injury or death when it gets used improperly. Mattell was
told that such toys should be tested and eliminated if improper
use could cause injury or death.*

WASHINGTON (AP) - As the Christmas season nears, Your Glorious
Leaders ask the following questions about any toy." Can the toy
be dismantled? Can it be broken into small, sharp pieces? Fit
into a child's mouth? Could its parts be used for jabbing?

    Does it make loud noises that could damage youthful ears?
Does it have a long string that could be wrapped around one's
neck?

    Those are among the questions that the private Institute for
Injury Reduction says parents should ask before purchasing any
toy. The institute points out that despite the industry and
government efforts to make toys safer over the years, about
700,000 children were injured by toys from 1986 to 1990. There
were an average 25 fatalities annually in that period.

    In 1991, 31 children died from toy injuries and 163,000
emergency room visits by children were caused by toy accidents.
according to figures from the Consumer Product Safety Commission.
"You must anticipate that the child will use that toy in the most
injurious way possible." said the institute, a non-profit
organization founded by trial lawyers to promote product safety.

    Parents shouldn't trust age labels on toy packages if
something in the box could be swalLowed or otherwise misused, it
says. And don't buy toys with instructions written in a foreign
language.

    The best choke tester of toys is an empty toilet paper roll,
said the institute's Benjamin Kelley_ If the toy fits inside the
tube, it's too small for a child that still puts things in his or
her mouth.

    The message is "engage brain before buying," said Rep.
Patricia Schroeder, D-Colo., who joined Kelley and others at a
news conference Wednesday to warn parents that the vast majority
of toys on the market have not been inspected for safety.

    "We assume if a toy is On the shelf in the United States of
America, then it can be presumed safe. That's just not the case."
said Schroeder who chairs the House Select Committee on Children,
Youth and Families.

    She also said parents should realize that when a package is
labeled for children 3 and over, it's definitely not safe for
younger children.

    Contrary to what many parents may think, the age label
doesn't refer to intellectual ability. So don't violate the
guidelines just because a youngster is precocious .

    Elana Berardi of the Bronx, New York, said she wishes she
had known better before she bought a toy dart gun for her 3-year-
old son, Michael. "I was right there," she said, watching as her
son looked into the gun and in an instant a dart came out and hit
him in the eye, blinding him.

    The group also advised parents against baby walkers, those
round devices on wheels in which non-walking infants can sit and
scoot themselves around. "They give kids too much power and speed
before their brains can handle it. It's like giving a 12-year-old
the keys to the car," said pediatrician Abe Bergman, head of the
prevention and health promotion section of Harborview Injury
Prevention Center in Seattle, Wash.

    He said 29,000 children have been injured in baby walkers.
"They have no inherent value." he said. *

    April, 1993, the following happened.

IRVINE, Calif. - Taco Bell Corp. is asking customers to return
promotional finger puppets and inflatable balls after receiving
reports that some children got their tongues stuck in the puppets
and that others became dizzy after trying to blow up the balls.

    The restaurant chain, a unit of. Pepsico Inc., said Monday
it will give a free taco for each toy returned to any of its
3,70O locations.

    "Taco Bell has elected to voluntarily recall both items from
our stores to eliminate any possibility of future customer
discomfort and inconvenience," said spokeswoman Janis Smith at
the company's Irvine headquarters .

    From Jan. 25 to March 28, Taco Bell distributed with its
Kid's Meals an estimated 500,000 finger puppets depicting Lowly
Worm and Huckle Cat from the children's book "The Busy World of
Richard Scarry ". Though no serious injuries were reported, Taco
Bell received three complaints that children gOt the toys stuck
in their mouths when they put their tongues in the finger holes,
Two children had to have the toys removed by doctors. Smith said.

    The chain also gave out 80.0O0 inflatable balls depicting
the Rocky and Bullwinkle cartoon characters, but the items were
so difficult to inflate that several children suffered slight
dizziness, Smith said.

    "No one actually called the corporation and complained, but
we got reports from managers that they were just really tough to
blow up," Smith said of the balls. "They are supposed to be
round, but they aren't." The balls , distributed from March 29 to
March 31, were also offered with Kid's Meals as part of a new
advertising campaign featuring Rocky and Bullwinkle.

    Before distribution, both toys passed mandatory testing by
the Consumer Product Safety Commission in Washington, a spokesman
for the commission said. The puppets were made by Dyna Toys and
the balls by Limited Edition Inc.

    Both companies are in Hong Kong. Taco Bell had to set up a
toll-free consumer hot line to handle customers. inquiries .

    Three years ago, Taco Bell voluntarily recalled 300,000
plastic water bottles being sold as promotional items after
receiving reports of three incidents in which children pulled off
bottle tops and tried to swallow them, There were no serious
injuries, though in one case a parent had to perform the Heimlich
maneuver on a child who started to choke on a bottle top.*

    April 30, 1993. Quaker Oats Co, has been forced to recall
eight million boxes of Capitan Crunch, Crunchberries, and Peanut
Butter Crunch because of a toy inside that has injured at lease
36 youngster's eyes as a result of the toy's misuse.

    Quaker said 36 children have suffered brused or bloodshot
eyes after pushing the toy onto their faces.

    On January 1, 1995, a law passed by your Glorious Leaders
called the Child Safety protection Act went into effect. Any toy
that makes noies, can be broken or fails the toilet paper roll
test became illegal. That law effectively eliminate most of the
toys available for kids to play with.

    For your kid's safety and sanity, Your Glorious Leaders have
designed the ultimate safe toy.

    This ultimate safe toy requires that the accident prone kid
only has to be in a padded room to watch it. It is the special TV
for kids.

    This special TV will be installed as follows,

1. The parent MUST be present to watch the installation.

2. The parent's lawyer must also be present to watch the
installation.

3. An on duty robocop (Police officer of the future) must also be
present to monitor the installation.

4. You must have a UL approved grounded electrical outlet at the
location

5. You are required to provide a super padded room which contains
no windows, hard surfaces or other dangerous objects that your
kid might become injured on. This is the room where the Special
TV will be installed. Only then, will our special, super safe,
bonded crew of 3 proceed to install this set.

6. The installation will be videotaped. (for liability protection
purposes).

     Installation occurs as follows,

1. The special TV set will be firmly anchored to the super safe
floor.

2. The special heavy duty specially grounded and shielded power
cord will be anchored to the wall socket and covered with a super
thick insulating shield.

3. Super heavy duty mounting clamps will be secured with lag
bolts into the studs and floor beams of your house. On super safe
housing, the mountings are bonded into the super safe, nontoxic,
energy adsorbing, spongy safety plastic.

4. Your special TV will be loaded with Politically Correct
programs that are suitable for the kids as approved by Liberals.
Those programs are totally void of any violence, sex, religion,
race, creed, and other subjects that are not fit for viewing by
young minds.

5. A special, super soft, clear, non toxic, non flammable,
plastic bubble is then electronically locked to the mounting
clamps. We keep the electronic key. There is a choice of corner
bubble, or wall bubble.

6. As new programming is approved for child viewing, we can
change the program cartridges. You will, of course, have to be
present, along with the robocop, lawyer and videotaping crew.

    As installed, it is impossible for the child to injure
itself. The super soft special plastic bubble prevents that. The
child cannot get dangerously close to the display screen. The
child cannot get at the power cord. And, of course, the super
soft special plastic bubble prevents the child from damaging the
special TV no matter what they try to break it with. The child
cannot remove the special plastic bubble without our electronic
key. The super safe padded room is too small for the kid to get
enough room to move fast enough to cause injury.

    For really problem kids. We make the super padded suit. The
kid cannot injure itself while in one. There is never any danger
of a kid poking itself in the eye, ear, or mouth while wearing
one.

    A touch pad built into the special plastic bubble allows you
or the child to turn on the set and select the programming. The
set automatically turns off at 8:PM (Bedtime). It cannot be
turned on again until 8:AM.

    The Super Safe TV will solve the problem of something to do
for your kid and at the same time provide safe, Politically
Correct, approved educational entertainment.



On the positive side

    Kids will never get killed or injured while playing with
this super safe toy.



























    Why is this happening? Because unsupervised kids continue to
be injured by the misuse of toys and lawsuit lawyers jump at the
chance to make millions over frivolous lawsuits. As a result,
Companies are now running so scared that the slightest hint of a
problem and it is instant recall.

    I guess that means that soon, there will be no more toys
available anywhere for use in the U.S. Few, if any, are presently
manufactured in the U.S. anymore.



    Lawsuit lawyers, Liberals and the Consumer Product Safety
Commission by the time of the Panic Society may finally force all
toys off the market. This is because any toy can be dangerous
when not used properly.

On the negative side

     Kids will never be allowed to do anything else for their own
safety.

Is this all Possible?

    The programming is out there. Check out "Capitan Planet" and
"Widget" for an example of Politically Correct programing.

    The Child Safety Protection Act does exist.